FYI, in Mobilinc you can actually activate the relay control by pressing the status icon. (saves you from needing both icons on screen).
Not sure how you are using the relay, momentary (to simulate the hard wired switches) or open/closed.
I had an issue with a gate control that did not report the proper status of the relay after issuing a command that should do a momentary close. I don't recall the specifics, but I would have to issue the command twice to get it to operate. To fix this, I wrote a program that queried the relay several seconds after it saw the relay state change.
If this is your issue, then maybe the query will do the trick (based on seeing the door state change). If the relay is not being used in a momentary configuration, then you may need to write a program that adjusts the state of the relay whenever it sees the door state change. (there would probably need to be some delays factored in)